


the story goes like this

by emilia_kaisa



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Feelings Realization, M/M, Not Beta Read, Short One Shot, This Is Sad, Unhappy Ending, i feel like locking this one idk, kind of, this is bad and i might delete it but it's almost 2am and i feel like posting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: "But then he is nineteen and on the top of the world, and he feels like he can have everything. And maybe, he feels like he wants everything and everyone, someone. It is a new feeling, a thrilling one, another challenge for a champion."





	the story goes like this

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this hour, school stress and sudden feels I have.  
> As always 100000% fiction.

The story goes like this.

Yuzuru is seventeen when he moves across the ocean, chasing his dreams and hopes. Everything is bigger and brighter, air in his lungs is colder and weight on his shoulders is heavier than before. He has so much to prove to everyone, and he commits himself to that race, and he doesn't look around.

Until he does stop, for a moment, a then there is him.

Yuzuru doesn't know if it is love, and he doesn't think about it. All he knows that it is warm and unexpected, and that it should scare him, but it doesn't. It is nice, and kind of safe, to let himself fall into that tight embrace and kind words, and it is enough. Yuzuru doesn't want more, and he doesn't think Javi does either. So it goes like that, a warm smile everyday when they see each other, a few encouraging words, a brush of a hand from time to time.

He doesn't overthink that. It is just another element of his routine, a piece of his normality, Javi's steady hands keeping him grounded.

This is how it goes, and this is okay.

But then he is nineteen and on the top of the world, and he feels like he can have everything. And maybe, he feels like he wants everything and everyone, someone. It is a new feeling, a thrilling one, another challenge for a champion.

It is a warm spring night when he kisses Javi, and it send a chill down his spine. Javi sighs deeply, a breathe he was holding for what seems like eternity, and his hands are shaking and gentle when he touches Yuzuru's face.

That summer is dizzy and Yuzuru feels drunk, bathing in that new shift in their relationship, enjoying how Javi's smile is even sweeter in the morning and how his eyes twinkle with something so very bright when he looks at Yuzuru now.

It is not love, but it is warm and familiar, and he just lets himself have that, for a moment.

He is not heartbroken when he ends it.

It is a concious choice, a decision that he makes without too much thinking. He enjoys what he has, but he needs to focus, and he needs time, and he doesn't need more distractions. The summer is over and there is work to do, and he thinks that they are both on the same page.

They aren't.

Javi looks at him like he can't understand and Yuzuru shifts uncomfortably under his shining eyes, and it dawns on him that he had it wrong since the very beggining. He wants to explain, not really to apologize, because it is not his fault that Javi read too deep into that. But when he opens his mouth no sound escape them, and he wants to be anywhere else but there. And then finally, after the whole eternity, Javi takes a deep breath and gives him the bravest, saddest smile Yuzuru has ever seen.

 _Okay_ he says, softly _That's okay._

It feels like a lie, but Yuzuru doesn't comment that, and tries not to think about it, and things go back to how they used to be, almost.

He doesn't let himself to think about it. He has more important things to do.

Time passes and blinks, and suddenly nothing is important anymore.

There is only his career that he tries so hard not to end and there is Javi who decided to leave his life with almost no warning, and Yuzuru can't breathe.

The story goes like this.

He is twenty three when he realizes that it was love all along.

But now, it is too late.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed??? Idk, I feel really conflicted about this one.  
> But thank you for reading!


End file.
